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Devious Literature by Michel-le-fou

signs, poems and so on by Misse-Chan87

poet by EvaMcqueen


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Submitted on
July 23, 2013
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Sta.sh Writer
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Granting you forgiveness, none,
For what matters most is what you've done,
Don't take it too kindly,
Thinking you'll ever get away,
But alas, you are sadly mistaken,
If you think that even for a moment,
That you will ever get away,

I am patient, no more,
Crime that you committed,
Cannot be pardoned,
Your soul will not have peace,
I will hunt you down even as you plead,
I have no mercy,
I do not forgive,

I forget your crimes, not,
They are burned within my mind,
As I see the one I loved suffer,
From such an unspeakable sin,
How dare you even think,
That you could commit a crime,
Thinking it justified,

I say peace, not anymore,
I wage a war that destroys the world,
Hide, you coward, hide,
Run, you bastard, run,
Nothing on Earth,
Will restrain me,
Not even Death himself,

Your plea for mercy, denied,
I grant no forgiveness,
I grant no mercy,
I grant no relent,
For your crime is too great,
Such deed cannot be erased,
My rage cannot be replaced,

I murdered you,
For I don't forgive,
For I don't forget,
You deserve Death,
Not even ten years in prison,
Is deserving of your kind of sin,

I burned you,
And turn you to ash,
As you burn I spit in your face,
I stomp on your body,
As it was consumed by flames,
Of anger,
Of justice.
For :iconlove-literature:'s weekly prompt
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:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel here. Your review as promised.
The style and content are its best features, again. In most stanzas, the lines were varied and the mood was serious and gloomy suggesting a vengeful nature, which was thrilling to read in poetry; but i think that the commas were somewhat misplaced in many. Generally, i am unsure how to suggest editing here. Simply, go through it again and match the lines with our habit of speech.
Otherwise, the length and mood of the piece are fine. I enjoy reading and reviewing your work, it shows good developing skill. Keep your ink flowing or your keys clicking.

Btw, this is my first criticism for this group.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Michel here. I will review this after a few moments.
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:icondarkcloudassasin:
DarkCloudAssasin Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Student Writer
very moving :blackrose:
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:icondeviouskid45:
DeviousKid45 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks
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:iconasakobunny:
AsakoBunny Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lovely! Amazing! I love it!
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:icondeviouskid45:
DeviousKid45 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Glad you liked it.
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